Six weeks later.. anxiety! 

My first week was horrific! I had nightmares that were so so real that were just horrific! I’d wake up dripping wet. It was awful. I didn’t feel too much different during the day I was still nervous, panicking and looking for every danger, that didn’t exist! 
Week two brought a sense of relief, I’m not really sure if it was genuine or I was just having a good week! The nightmares continued but I’d got used to them by now.. 
Week three and half way through week four I felt normal! Just like how I used to feel.. I was enjoying going out and I wasn’t thinking of every danger imaginable.. it felt good. 
The second half of week four, the panic returns! I visited the local shopping centre to upgrade my phone. Whilst sat speaking to the adviser I felt as though I was going to faint, this was the first time in weeks I had felt this bad.. even before medication. I rang my sister to come get me and as soon as the phone call ended I felt better. The adviser was so good! I told her what was happening and she was so reassuring and amazing with me! I continued to get my phone and then went home. I felt drained for about three days. As my attempt to get a doctors appointment for the past two weeks had failed I was left with no choice but to book an emergency appointment to get more medication. The doctor upt my dose after hearing I wasn’t coping very well. 
Week five, upping my medication gave me a few days of normally! But the panic soon returned. I managed to go out for meal and to the cinema for my birthday, but I feel a huge sense of getting through this was due to the film being hilarious and my mind being distracted. I have started to feel so so tired! Usually I can manage on about 5-6 hours sleep at the moment I’m having at least 8 and feel so sluggish! Maybe I’m over sleeping, but is that really a thing I don’t know! 
Week six, started on my birthday! We had made plans to go to the lake for a walk, I thought open space would be perfect as I tend to feel fine when I’m in control and whilst outdoors I can be. As we were getting ready to set off my mum asked if we fancied going out for breakfast. Suddenly I felt a wave of nerves and panic hit me! I didn’t say anything and got in the car. We arrived at the cafe and the fainting feeling struck! I had to sit down instantly I felt awful, really awful. I cried and panicked. We got the breakfast to go and we went home. I felt a release as soon as we were home. The lake was a no go as I simply felt way too tired and we had plans to go out in the evening for tea. As the evening approached I felt my chest getting tight I was so worried! But I planned to have a few drinks in hope to release my mind into relaxing! How very very wrong I was! I had my first drink, nervous and hoping it would ease my anxiousness. Instead it sent me into a full panic attack! My meal arrived just as it hit! Tears poured down my face! Luckily my dad could see I needed to get up and go! He grabbed my arm and took me outside. After five minutes the panic attack had passed. I went back in and ate my meal. I really just wanted to go home, but I had to stick it out. The next day I was kept busy at work and with the kids. Wednesday was a slow day at work and I found myself with a new anxiety symptom! Anxiety head aches! I have suffered with migraines for a few years and believed it was the beginning of a migraine. Until the room started spinnning and I was so not with it, I felt completely drunk! Confused and unable to concentrate! My mum googled my symptoms and discovered I had described an anxiety headache! 
The last day of week six will be my visit to the neurologist which is tomorrow! I’m so worried! Scared, nervous and not at all wanting to know if there is something ‘serious’ wrong with me! But then hopefully they can give me some ideas of what’s happening and relief some of my worry! 
 
 

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Day Nine.. 

What a day today has been!!

Had next to no sleep last night as Lily was up most of the night in pain with her ear! Then when I looked in the mirror I noticed blisters had started to form on my very burnt shoulders! I’m so annoyed with myself because I literally went in the pool and got out 20 mins before heading back to the apartment so didn’t reapply any cream! Big mistake!! 

When we were all awake we walked up to the pool bar to ask where was the best place to go for a doctor! The lady described a place we had seen and off we went. The dr checked Lilys ear and conculded she has an ear infection.. so I paid the bill which was €135. Just as I’d paid Lily went drip white and fainted! The dr, myself and my sister carried her into the Drs room.. she came round and then fainted again! The doctor insisted on phoning an ambulance, he thought she was having some sort of heart attack!! So of course I panic and then I faint too!! What a pair! 

The ambulance arrived and well Lily kicked off like crazy! Not sure if she was a bit out of it from faining or she was showing her true colours! I was so weak after also fainting and it took my dad my mum and my sister to get her into the ambulance. On route the nurse was so lovely very reassuring and patient! Lily calmed down and accepted that she was going to go to hospital for some tests. 

-Lilys ambulance selfie-

We arrived at the hospital and despite the waiting room being so full we were taken straight into a side room. After a while the lady from the ambulance returned to take Lilys bloods.. again Lily wasn’t impressed about this but after being pinned down by myself and my dad the nurse managed to get a canular in! They took some blood and bandaged her canular up. We then were taken to a ward, where we had to wait for the results. 


We played tipping point, eye spy and watched YouTube to try keep Lilys mind at ease! She was hungry and bored! The vending machine offered a very strange variety of things and I think she was too worried to eat at the time despite not having eaten a thing all day! 


At around 5pm the blood results came back, all was fine! We could take her home! So I paid the bill.. which was over €850! I’m glad I brought my credit card!! 

I called into the chemist for the prescription and dad hailed a taxi, we went back to the apartment. 

My shoulders had completely blistered by the time we were home so after putting Lilys ear drops in i covered myself with an ice cold wet pillowcase in hope to rescue my poor shoulders! Lily then had to take a tablet, this is her first time! Lily being lily wasn’t going to make it easy and after about thirty minutes she finally swallowed it! 

My mum, Dad and nats all went out I wasn’t going out in the sun with my blisters! Me and the girls joined them after watching Emerdale which was around the same time that the sun went down.

We walked along the front and bought a few presents for the girls dads and friends. Then we went to the restaurant for some food. I ordered the same starter as always and pasta for my main.. the pasta wasn’t great but I’m very fussy with pasta! Everyone else said theirs was lovely so it must have just been me!

After dinner we walked to get an ice cream! The girls also bought a light up ball on a string. On the way home Daisy lost hers.. I tried catching it but failed. Lily was so kind and instantly gave her hers! 


When we got back to the apartment we had a drink on the balcony and then went to bed.. after putting more ear drops in Lilys ears and her having another tablet! 

This has been the most expensive day of the holiday so far! I’m so glad I have medical insurance so I can claim it all back once home!